So I have a new job, and got my first paycheck today! yay!

Ok, so I'll cash it, get my hard earned money.

doot doot doot... oh... the bank is closed at noon, lame, well that's fine I'll just cash it at Wal-Mart, as they cash payroll checks for 3 dollars.

doodeedoodeedoo waiting in line, oooooooh boy. I am totally gonna have money again for the first time in months!

Hi, I need to cash a payroll check. My ID? oh ok here you go. my social security number? ok, *beep boop beep beep boop beep beep boop boop* huh? the check won't scan?
You'll try this scanner here? ok.. well this is odd... That one won't work either? wow... this third one isn't working either? man... well can you type in the numbers?

you can't? wow... well can your manager? no?... well fine I'll go to Kroger, they cash checks.

*drivin' along doot doot*

Ok, at Kroger. Hi can I cash a payroll check here? oh I have to enroll and wait 7 days... ok well that won't work for me... I'll try Dots in Bellbrook, I called them and they said they could do it fine there, you guys were just closer.

*off to Dots*

Hi, I called earlier about cashing a payroll check.

Here you go, and my ID. Wait... out of state payroll checks are a no go?... but it's still a check... this is a big bank too! You haven't heard of them?... great now you're thinking I'm a con artist or something... jeezus... I'll try this wal mart in bellbrook, maybe they're scanners will work...

waiting in an even longer line... man this sucks.

Hi, I need to cash my payroll check.
Here you go, and my ID...

your scanners won't read it either huh... oh no don't bother trying it again, I certainly don't need this money or anything. And don't bother asking your manager to type in the number, he isn't allowed to, and it would only waste your time.

Well lets see here, lets call this California bank and see if they can void this check and do a bank transfer of the funds.

*ring ring*

Hi, I have a payroll check written by your bank, the routing numbers aren't clearly printed, I was wondering if you can void this and transfer the funds to my account?

Uh huh... Id have to stop by and have it exchanged for a cashier's check. Stop into California... from my home of Bellbrook Ohio. ok, no thanks, can I order a replacement check? ... 7 days?... never mind. Have a nice day.

Hmm... well this is great, Paypal is trying to charge me every three days to pay the ebay seller final value fees, and every time they try my bank charges me 25 dollars... for nothing..., no money is changing hands, but my bank charges 25 dollars to say no to people. awesome. ok.. 75 dollars in the hole... paypal will try to charge again on sunday (yeah because paypal doesn't mind working weekends) and I will get charged another 25 dollars because my bank made it impossible to fund my account... ok, so then I'll be 100 dollars in the hole, meaning my 300 dollar check will now be 200.

Oh wait, I won't even be able to deposit my check on weekdays because I work from 7am till 5 or so on weekdays. I guess I'll try again on Saturday... before noon.

screw you checks, screw you Walmart, screw you Kroger, screw you Wright Patt Credit Union, screw you Archco, and screw you UMPQUA bank in California.

Well, I WAS having a good day...

Wake me when people pay for things in weights of gold... Hell even cash will work (though the american dollar is failing and is not backed by anything... anything at all)